Change only happens when forced

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

My life is pretty great. I am doing what I love for a living, photography and movies, and I’m only 24. I have an amazing family that supports me in everything I do. I’m well liked, am in pretty good shape, practice the “leave the campsite cleaner than you found it” philosophy (essentially leaving people better off for having known you), etc.

And yet I know that there is so much more potential for who I can be. I am constantly having this nagging voice in my head to push myself to become the idealized version of me. The one in my head that doesn’t skip a gym workout, is an avid outdoorsmen, reads constantly, has a thirst for knowledge, treats everyone around him with respect and kindness, volunteers for the less fortunate and above all is mindful about every action I take.

I feel Einstein’s quote pertains really well to my sentiment right now. I know the person I want to become but I keep living my life the same way expecting that I will suddenly be able to become this person. Occasionally I’ll have weeks/months where I change my habits and see myself starting to scratch the surface of the person I want to become but without fail I always go back to my “same way”.

I know the life I’m living right now will not lead to greatness. Is it still insanity if you know what you are doing will not lead you where you want to go and yet you continue to trudge down that path?

“A general rule in creating stories is that characters don’t want to change. They must be forced to change. Nobody wakes up and starts chasing a bad guy or dismantling a bomb unless something forces them to do so. The bad guys just robbed your house and are running off with your last roll of toilet paper, or the bomb is strapped to your favorite cat. It’s that sort of thing that gets a character moving.” – Donald Miller’s “A Million Miles in A Thousand Years”

I need to find that something that will force me to change and head towards that idealized version of me. Need to start dismantling that bomb, haha. The question now becomes what will be that force.

Book: A Million Miles in A Thousand Years

I feel A Million Miles in A Thousand Years, by  local Portland author, Donald Miller, gives a great philosophy towards living your life. The biggest takeaway I took from the story is that in our lives the most memorable and greatest moments almost always come from pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone, experiencing pain, and taking the harder path. When we finally reach the joyous part it becomes that much more rewarding because of all the hard work it took to get there. Now whenever I’m feeling down and not wanting to go to the gym, edit photos, or go out with friends I just think to myself “how can I make a better life story” and that usually motivates me to get out.

I definitely recommend picking up a copy of the book. And it’s now in paperback.

Do what you love; love what you do

Days like this make me want to push myself even harder to make it as a full time photographer. Since moving to NYC I’ve picked up jobs working for two catering companies. When I’m working for these catering companies I’m working for the money. Yes, here and there I pick up new skills but overall the only thing I get out of catering is money. Money that goes to pay my rent check and various bills so that I can go back and do it all again the next day. This work makes me fully appreciate the photography jobs that I get. 

Last Saturday I was an associate shooter for an 11 hour wedding. None of it felt like work. I loved every minute of it.  And I made double what I made working one week at the catering job. 

At the end of shoots when people pay me I still think to myself “I’m getting paid for this? getting paid for doing what I love? for making art?” The money almost becomes a bonus. If I wasn’t getting paid to take photos I’d still be doing it. If I wasn’t getting paid for catering there’s no way you’d find me waiting on people. It is very important for me to love what I do for work. 

American’s spend 40 hours (often more) a week working. That ends up being about 36% of your waking life. I’d rather being doing something I love in the time and just getting by than doing something only for the money. In the end money is finite but working at a job that you love has infinite rewards. 

So ask yourself; would I still work at my job if I wasn’t getting paid? In my opinion, if the answer is “no” you should pick a job you can aspire to so that one day that answer will be “yes”. That’s what I’m doing. It makes days like today a little more bearable because I know I’m going somewhere and that I won’t be at this “type” of job in five years. I’ll be working full time as a photographer. That’s my goal anyways. No, lets make it one year. One year from now I’ll be supporting myself fully off of photography and loving every moment of it.

And now for sleep so that I can wake up tomorrow and do it all again. Do it all again so that one day I won’t have to.

ipod touch!

No really point to this post but I just got the ipod touch and it’s amazing! . It’s going to be so much easier to keep track of things now. No more searching all over the place for notes and my schedular.  In other news I take off for Wisconsin tomorrow accompanying my brother Nate to look at Beloit College (he’s thinking of going there). I’m looking forward to the trip but not the weather. The last time I was there I had the strange experience of having your nostrils freeze shut. I’m hoping it won’t be that cold this time around. I’ll be back in Portland on Saturday and then take off again for Southern California next Tuesday where it will hopefully be much warmer than either Wisconsin or Portland. I’ll be visiting my old college friends at Chapman University. No shoots planned in Wisconsin but I already have a couple planned for California so I’ll be getting some new images up on here very shortly.